I know I am not the only one who knows that forgiving is one of the hardest things to do, we will always say we forgive someone, but we never truly let it go. Am I the only one who says “I forgive you” but as soon as there is another confrontation, we bring up what they did to us again to remind them how they hurt us? Or even just thinking about the incident over and over in our minds, that brings up the angry feelings, bring up hurt even though we proclaimed we forgave.
We can even say we forgive but use scripture against that person as to try and make them feel convicted for their wrong doing against us, we throw Jesus at them to bring guilt to them but instead just pushes them away…Just me? No one else guilty of this? 🙋♀️
So how can we truly forgive? Truly let it go, not bring it up even in our minds and lay it at Jesus’ feet and leave it there?
Truth is…I don’t know! Ha! You thought I had the answers to forgiveness, I don’t. I do know who does. He has taught me how to truly forgive and let Him handle the rest.
For a long time I was holding onto so much unforgiveness even the times I promised myself I forgave but the situations kept replaying over and over in my thoughts causing me to become angry, hurt, feeling of unworthiness, loneliness would come back up then I would become upset at the people and events that took place in my life that made me feel this way. I just could not shake it off! I was so tired of these things ruling my life.
Sure, some people would say I had a good reason to be upset with everything that has gone on in my life, especially within the last year. Ok, yes, I guess they are right, I do have reasons to be upset with certain people in my life, but how does holding a grudge help me grow? How does unforgiveness help me live in peace and allow God to move in my life? The thing the really breaks my heart is I scroll through social media and I see people post about how some one hurt them and how karma will get that person for what they did, and go on and on about “I forgive you but you deserve everything bad to happen to you for what you did to me.” Well, folks, that is not forgiveness, gossiping and everything else your doing to make this person look bad (whether true or not) that is not the attitude of our Father. The people who post on social media like this are still bitter, angry, and hurt; they need to learn to truly let go and let God so they can experience true freedom and open doors to what God has in store for them. If we just turn to Jesus, we will find full forgiveness of our sins, we find freedom, peace and even healing of our bodies! 🙌
So, during my journey to forgiveness, I’d pray and pray that God would help me to fully forgive. When thoughts would enter my mind right away, I’d command the Enemy would stop reminding of my past and that God would replace those thoughts with reminders of who I am in Him, reminders that He is working on my behalf to heal and restore. When I would think of what my husband did to me and how he abandoned me, and how he hates me so much, and what’s nothing to do with me, I pray God will remind me of how my husband is called, he is worthy, he is loved so much by Jesus, and how someday my husband’s heart of stone will become a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26) He replaces my unforgiveness with worship of what is to come.
When thoughts would enter my mind, even the very few text conversations I’d have with my husband would become so hurtful and I want to reply with hurtful talk right back, Jesus would clearly say “delete that and get on your worship on! Because my plan is great, and I can’t move if your full on hurt and unforgiveness.” You better believe that I’d delete, put my phone down and just cry out for help, because if I didn’t have His help I’d be a bitter, angry, unforgiving person; probably divorced, and out there doing who knows what.
God would deposit His word in my heart and speak so much love and forgiveness in my life, this helped me to lay all of my unforgiveness at His feet and allow me to move forward and receive physical, mental and emotional healing.
Matthew 6:14-15 says “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sin, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Hmmmm…let us meditate on that for a moment. If we do not forgive, we cannot be forgiven!
So if we say that we forgive someone for something they did to us, whether it is something traumatic happening in your life like; being molested as a child, rape, a spouse walking away from your marriage, adultery someone you trusted stealing from you, people taking advantage of your kindness, abortion(s), miscarriage, a father abandoning you as a child, to a Step-father being abusive, to parents using drugs, physically fighting each other, kids at school telling you how ugly you are, making fun of the way you dressed…we can go on and on listing all kinds of things that cause unforgiveness and just about every single thing I listed happened to me, causing my heart to harden and pile up years and years of unforgiveness. If you’re saying to yourself as you read this, “Some of those things happened to me and I can’t seem to forgive myself or those people that played a role in my unforgiveness.” I know that things happened in your life that have left deep scars in your heart, and some things are the most terrible things that could ever happen to anyone, and it’s not that easy to let go and forgive, pray and ask Him for help, He will help you, He wants to help you forgive and He will reveal to you how.
God simply cannot forgive you if you cannot forgive.
He tells us that we must forgive our brothers (and sisters) time again. Matthew 18:22- “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.’”
There is no exception on how bad the person hurt you, how deep the pain they left behind is. Jesus did not say “you must forgive except that guy…” or “Forgive them but not if they did that…”
Jesus didn’t hang on the cross to forgive us our sins, except that person.
Can you imagine if He put an exception on His hanging on the cross? We’d all be in trouble; He would’ve gone through all that torture and persecution for nothing. No! He forgave all, He wants us to forgive all!
Ephesians 4:31-32- “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander: along with every form of malice, Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you.”
Mark 11:25- “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Another scripture that God tell us to forgive so that we can be forgiven…See how important it is for us forgive?
When we say we forgive but truly have not…HE CAN’T FORGIVE US. He can’t move in our lives, He can’t heal us, He can’t bless us. Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like He isn’t moving in your life? Like you aren’t completely free? It’s because you haven’t forgiven.
After reading these verses that I fully understood that I needed to forgive truly, whole heartedly. Once I did that and laid all my unforgiveness at His feet (and left it there) that I was able to experience my healing, that He healed me from lupus, that my hair that I lost began to grow back, test results came back each time my body was functioning the way it was supposed to, my doctor’s cannot explain what’s happening, God opened doors for me in leadership, pouring into women and empowering them. He has provided for me in ways that I cannot explain! (raised hands) my prayer life is more amazing every day, He speaks to so clear and I just have a hunger to be in His word, and His presence.
I am just telling you of this not to brag about what I have or what I am doing but because this could only happen because I forgave, because I choose to no longer be bound by unforgiveness. He wants so much for you too…you can have everything He has in store for you, but you must let go and forgive. Be free my friend, do not be stuck in the bondage of unforgiveness.
Galatians 5:1-It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Slavery can be unforgiveness)
Acts 13: 38-39- “Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses.”
I challenge you (I challenge myself too) today, go into your prayer closet and ask god to show you how to forgive. Grab a journal and write down your experiences that you went through that caused you to hold onto unforgiveness toward someone or more than one person. Write their names down and pray over them, pray that you can forgive each one.
If you feel lead speak to them, ask them for forgiveness and ask them to forgive you (yes, even if you don’t feel like you’re the one who needs forgiveness…you are the one who held a grudge against them). Most importantly ask yourself for forgiveness❤ forgive yourself for allowing this to go on so long, forgive yourself for holding you back from God’s full potential for your life, for holding yourself back from forgiveness and freedom.
I wrote names down on a piece of paper, prayed over, asked each person for forgiveness; some I have been able to talk to, some I have not spoken to in years and have no idea to locate so I prayed and spoke out loud to Jesus forgiveness and then I ripped up that paper as a symbol of letting go. Burn it if you feel lead! How ever you feel the holy Spirt leading you to forgive…the important thing is you are FORGIVING and LETTING GO! 🙏
Feel the freedom and weight of unforgiveness just left off of you…it’s the best feeling in the world!
Don’t forget there is someone who wants to try to creep in and remind of you of your past and at times he will try and sneak a thought of what someone has done to you. We have dominion and authority over him…remind him of that! Romans 16:20- The God of people will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.
James 4:7- Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Don’t forget to put on your armor daily! (Ephesians 6:10-18)
If you need someone to pray with during your healing journey I am here! Drop a comment, email me, I reach out to you and we will do this together, you are not alone.
Until next time, I’m praying for you and Jesus loves you!
Good stuff:
Luke 6:37
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.”
Romans 8:1-4
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
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